No matter how hard you try to explain to the child how to ride a bicycle
“The child knows what the balance is in the moment when the child can ride a bicycle”.
That is how I can explain the Recovery process. You may ask, when will I know that I recovered?
You recover when you keep that balance and ride your “bicycle” – “live your life in balance”.
Throughout my life, I met many people who struggled with food, with emotions. They were on a roller coaster of dieting and a roller coaster of life. But they never had an eating disorder. And still – they were on the eating disorder spectrum. Not happy, but not sick. They struggled, but never looked for answers. Many people follow that pattern. People think they can control their weight, set up a weight goal, stick a poster on a wall with a “perfection” – and then they try not to be themselves and cry if they don’t succeed. Eventually they gave up and they are never happy because they feel that they cannot control their lives. Anxiety caused by anger because something uncontrollable can’t be controlled.
We are not perfect and that makes us beautiful
What if we simply become ourselves? What if instead of looking outside ourselves we start looking inside ourselves and we become who we are. Become ourselves. Isn’t this beautiful? To love, accept yourself as you are?
I used to identify myself with an eating disorder, with painful emotions, and I wasn’t happy for many years.
Until I understood, I gained the proper knowledge, and then my belief system changed. Just as much discipline as I put into my life, I put into recovering. That was my goal, my mission number one, my destination.
Don’t identify yourself with sickness, as well as don’t identify yourself with health. You can be healthy, but you are not the health. You are yourself. Your mission is to build balance. Your task is to stay determined, focused and strong in your mind to be yourself.
Do not identify yourself with an Eating disorder. You are not the Eating Disorder.
You can fight it if you choose to build a balance in your life. No, not staying on the ED spectrum and dieting through life. That is not recovery.
Recovery is never to restrict again, not because you can’t diet again, but because you choose not to.
You are building strong eating habits and a healthy relationship with food as well as with yourself.
There is a time to be active, and there is time to rest. Today you need to rest. Make a plan and prepare yourself for this journey to build a balance in your life. Yes, you can do it.
Cook, eat good food, structure your eating and enjoy it. Build healthy habits to eat at the table, build a practice of cooking nutritious meals, enjoy your treats and deserts.
Don’t force or put pressure on yourself to eat super healthy like many people write in the books and on google. I would avoid all the dieting websites. Build your recipe book. Buy the bread you love, make your pizza, cook your own soup. You can even sign up for cooking classes if that may help. I must admit I watched Jamie’s Oliver cooking on YouTube and bought some of his books. He loved all food and did wonder. I am far away from being a good cook, but I do enjoy my cooking.
When I was recovering, I thought I was going in a completely different direction than most people. When everyone was saying no to dessert, I was the one who ate three desserts per day. I was choosing the most satisfying meals and always made sure I was often eating. I had enough sometimes yes! But What did I have to lose?
First, I was building the trust with my body and mind. Second – my body is the one that regulates my weight, and third: I was in the process of healing.
I trusted I needed to eat despite not wanting. And it came to me months later that indeed my starvation, being bulimic, anorexic and restricting, was gone. Eventually, I was happy with just one dessert, and my body started to balance itself. Slowly, slowly I was wining with Eating Disorder, and that was visible.
I also proved the point that by building the balance, you truly are becoming happier. No, I wasn’t putting much on weight despite not exercising and eating tons of food as I thought at that time. But with all respect to my sick beliefs, I was becoming a healthy eater. I was practising mindfulness and meditation. Each meal was a celebration. Always at the table and never in a rush.
I built not just healthy habits but also respect, discipline and balance in my approach towards food. I also don’t connect food with emotions.
No matter what problems and struggles I deal with – food has nothing to do with that.
“A person is healthy because sickness exists” – if we understand that, we will appreciate the time when we feel sick and the time when we feel good. Balance doesn’t mean we are constantly happy. It means we are ourselves no matter what life throws at us.
Today, let yourself be that child who learns how to ride a bicycle. Never give up, fall and try again. Build your life balance.
“Success is based upon failure.”
Today, love yourself and be kind.
Love and light